I revise my previous favorable opinion of the BMW X2: actually, it sucks

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 05/31/2018 at 16:30 • Filed to: None

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When the BMW X2 was first announced, and all the press photos showed it in M Sport trim with bright colors, I sorta kinda liked it. But now that I’ve seen the regular version in person, I’ve realized the error of my ways. It’s crap.

In theory, I liked that the X2 didn’t have a dumb swoopy roof line that kills rear headroom, visibility, and cargo space, like the X4 and X6. It seemed like a more practical way to have a better looking version of the X1, with only a small compromise in practicality, and slightly higher price. Sure, it would be paying more for less room, but it didn’t create an inherently compromised vehicle.

The press photos do not accurately convey how boxy and stupid the X2 actually is. Especially when viewed from an angle from behind the thing, it looks terrible. Tall, slab-sided, boxy, but small windows. Especially in the typical drab colors most luxury brand vehicles are leased in. The closest I could find to capturing this crappy angle was the picture below, short of walking to the BMW dealer near my house.

(Yes, I drive a BMW and live in walking distance of a BMW dealer. Insert frequent shop visit jokes here.)

The best way I can describe the looks of the X2 is that it has the same overall proportions as a Mercedes GLA, being essentially a 5 door hatchback on stilts and suffering from the combination of too-tall beltline and too-small windows, but boxier and uglier. It is not an attractive vehicle by any stretch of the imagination, and is significantly uglier than the X1 it’s supposed to be a better-looking version of.

And there’s the rub: the only reason to pay more for an X2 than an X1 is the X2's appearance. You don’t give up *much* room, but it’s been beaten with an ugly stick. Why pay more? The X1 is clearly the better choice. But I’ve already seen a few X2s on the road, and there’s a whole bunch of them at my local dealer. Clearly BMW knows something I don’t. Maybe they’re riding the “these ugly-ass chunky sneakers are cool because they’re so ugly” trend, but in vehicle form.

Milky > Textured Soy Protein 05/31/2018 at 16:35

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... but it didn’t create an inherently compromised vehicle.

Not true, its been that since day one by being a FWD BMW.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Textured Soy Protein 05/31/2018 at 16:36

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It’s another bigly Mini

Chariotoflove > Textured Soy Protein 05/31/2018 at 16:43

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Thank you.

Ash78, voting early and often > Textured Soy Protein 05/31/2018 at 16:48

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Crap, there’s an X2? But I wasn’t finished bemoaning the X1 yet!

Aremmes > Textured Soy Protein 05/31/2018 at 16:53

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It’s got Camaro windows. The hatch only takes up half of the rear end because the bumper sits so high up and goes on for miles. The front looks like a horse’s bit, just missing the bridle.

Textured Soy Protein > Ash78, voting early and often 05/31/2018 at 16:55

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The X1 is fine. The original was liked by a small chunk of people who treated it like a 135i wagon but the back seat was too small. The new one is no longer a 135i wagon but a much better crossover.

Textured Soy Protein > Milky 05/31/2018 at 16:58

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It’s a crossover. It’s fine to be based on a fwd platform. The original on the rwd platform had a uselessly small back seat.

CompactLuxuryFan > Textured Soy Protein 05/31/2018 at 17:02

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Good on you for coming to your senses! I also kinda like the current X1 and agree it’s probably a way better SUV than the old one, but it’s hard to argue with a longitudinal I-6 option. That said, an E90 or F31 335i wagon is better than an X1 xDrive 35i in every way and should have been brought over!

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Textured Soy Protein 05/31/2018 at 17:17

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from that 3 quarters view you posted it looks like it could slot right into the buick lineup

E92M3 > Textured Soy Protein 05/31/2018 at 17:23

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I would take the X1 over the X2 any day. I think it looks good, particularly in Glacier Silver.

coqui70 > Textured Soy Protein 05/31/2018 at 22:35

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If I wanted a Hyundai/Kia I’d buy a fuckin’ Hyundai/Kia. Hey BMW how about more 1M/M2/M3 and less bloaty wanna-be Explorers with more horsepower than the soccer-parents can handle?

To illustrate, this is a real BMW:

Not sure what the hell this is:

Milky > Textured Soy Protein 06/01/2018 at 09:19

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Textured Soy Protein > Milky 06/01/2018 at 09:32

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I test drove an X1 35i and decided if I was going to have a useless back seat it should be in the form of the 135is that I bought instead.

Milky > Textured Soy Protein 06/01/2018 at 09:40

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Sounds like you made a good choice.

Textured Soy Protein > E92M3 06/01/2018 at 22:09

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Silver is the worst color.